Armies of Compassion
This is another old email that I sent to some friends of mine and it too was a motivation for the blog. I wrote it after hearing President Bush speak in New Orleans after the hurricane hit. I think it is pretty funny and if there is a draft then I think I would like to be drafted in this ridiculous army.
My fellow Americans, I had the distinct honor and joy of listening to my president give a speech last night while he was in New Orleans. I heard him pontificate on the amazing destruction of this unrelenting, dare I say racist, hurricane and the need for the federal government to once again operate outside its constitutional bounds. While listening to all this nonsense and growing more and more amazed at the honesty of this presidents willingness to violate his oath of office by not “upholding the constitution of the United States” I realized that there apparently is a new branch/wing of the U.S. military. President Bush sprung this new aspect of the U.S. military on me with the words “armies of compassion”. Armies of Compassion? What is that!?
My brother is a Marine and he isn’t all that compassionate and neither is my sister-in-law who is in the Navy. I’ve known those in the Army and Air Force and although nicer in some ways they wouldn’t fit the definition of compassionate. Our military isn’t about being compassionate but it is in the business of killing people. They are trained to kill and from what I can see and from what I hear they are trained well in the fine arts of killing. They kill all sorts of people with not so much as a blink of the eye; therefore, I am left with the thought that this “Army of Compassion” is a new military hybrid. They apparently have the same funding since they are an “Army” so that means that they have all the best gadgets that taxpayers can buy. Yet, they are compassionate; which I take to mean that they are not in the business of killing people. This is much different than our present military. So, I’ve done some research and I’ve come up with some half-brained and full-brained theories about what this “Army” does and more so on what they look like.
First, what looks more compassionate, a guy that dresses up to look like the forest, wearing face paint (not like the kind for sporting events), and carrying a rifle and other implements of destruction; or a guy with no implements of destruction, wearing his own natural pigment on his face and bearing a huge smile? I think the later is the correct choice. You too! Good, now we can continue.
Second, I think this new branch of the military should wear uniforms in the color red. Let’s face it, if you’re going to have the sole purpose of bearing compassion towards those who need it they need to see you to find you to get that compassion from you. The Red Cross is known for showing compassion and what color do they use to be recognized? Red. Those in our present military who work in the medical field use what color on their helmets, boats and cars to designate them as medical? Red. So, red is the color that says, “Hey, look over here, I’m different and I care”.
Third, what shape says love more than any other shape? A heart. Not the type of heart that is found in those biology text books but the kind you can find anywhere during the month of February. Those are perfect too because not only do they have the natural color of red, which we have already determined to be the most visually captivating, but they also have the shape that have a universal depiction of love and caring. Now these heart shaped uniforms will have to be worn right side up for a couple reasons. First, if it is worn upside down the rounded lobes will be at the feet and the point will be at the head, thus people may confuse the wearer as being a grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. This would only hinder the compassion giving soldier and thus may bring the compassionate soldier in harms way. Second, upside down hearts just do not communicate the universal love and compassion that we have already stated was the key and complete function of this new military force.
Now, worn right side up , these red, heart shaped uniforms will not only get the attention needed but will also loosen peoples pent-up emotional frustrations. The styling is key. We need the Armies of Compassion to be able to function in their duties but we also need to facilitate compassion when those soldiers are not in the mood. Let’s face it sometimes those regular military people don’t really want to kill people so they listen to bombastic music to set the mood before they unleash the destruction and carnage that they have trained so long to learn. So, the uniform of this new hybrid soldier needs to function so as to be the “bombastic music”. The arm holes at the rounded lobes will be just past the natural bend in the person’s shoulders. This will cause the Armies of Compassion to be at a natural hugging stance while also allowing the soldier to give a decent hug to the recipient. Also, these lobes will have to be filled with replaceable stuffing. This will ensure jobs for those making the material and also give a place for the one needing compassion to cry on an accepting, soft and absorbent shoulder.
Fourth, any boy scout will tell you that one of their cardinal rules is to be prepared. Therefore, the Army of Compassion will have to be prepared as well. They will need some sort of pack to hold supplies. They cannot use a backpack as this is a cumbersome obstruction for the one without the pack. They can’t use a duty belt, much like Batman, because that will poke the recipient and just be too uncomfortable for the one needing the compassion. The fanny-pack is the pack that is just right. You do not have the obstruction problems and it will hold a great deal of supplies. These packs can hold loads of snot, mucus and other general face leaking absorbents.
One thing I am a bit confused on is the “armies”. Throughout this letter I’ve used both ‘army’ and ‘armies’ yet our president said “Armies of Compassion”. So I do not know if he is making one of his speech blunders or if there are multiple military organizations that have special sections within them that deal specifically with the area of compassion. That may actually be the case. The Navy has the S.E.A.L.S., and the Marine Corps has the RECON so it wouldn’t be surprising to have different elite groups within already existing military organizations. If anyone has anymore information on this topic or has ideas of their own let me know and maybe we can get to the bottom of this interesting aspect of our ever increasing government and military presence.
My fellow Americans, I had the distinct honor and joy of listening to my president give a speech last night while he was in New Orleans. I heard him pontificate on the amazing destruction of this unrelenting, dare I say racist, hurricane and the need for the federal government to once again operate outside its constitutional bounds. While listening to all this nonsense and growing more and more amazed at the honesty of this presidents willingness to violate his oath of office by not “upholding the constitution of the United States” I realized that there apparently is a new branch/wing of the U.S. military. President Bush sprung this new aspect of the U.S. military on me with the words “armies of compassion”. Armies of Compassion? What is that!?
My brother is a Marine and he isn’t all that compassionate and neither is my sister-in-law who is in the Navy. I’ve known those in the Army and Air Force and although nicer in some ways they wouldn’t fit the definition of compassionate. Our military isn’t about being compassionate but it is in the business of killing people. They are trained to kill and from what I can see and from what I hear they are trained well in the fine arts of killing. They kill all sorts of people with not so much as a blink of the eye; therefore, I am left with the thought that this “Army of Compassion” is a new military hybrid. They apparently have the same funding since they are an “Army” so that means that they have all the best gadgets that taxpayers can buy. Yet, they are compassionate; which I take to mean that they are not in the business of killing people. This is much different than our present military. So, I’ve done some research and I’ve come up with some half-brained and full-brained theories about what this “Army” does and more so on what they look like.
First, what looks more compassionate, a guy that dresses up to look like the forest, wearing face paint (not like the kind for sporting events), and carrying a rifle and other implements of destruction; or a guy with no implements of destruction, wearing his own natural pigment on his face and bearing a huge smile? I think the later is the correct choice. You too! Good, now we can continue.
Second, I think this new branch of the military should wear uniforms in the color red. Let’s face it, if you’re going to have the sole purpose of bearing compassion towards those who need it they need to see you to find you to get that compassion from you. The Red Cross is known for showing compassion and what color do they use to be recognized? Red. Those in our present military who work in the medical field use what color on their helmets, boats and cars to designate them as medical? Red. So, red is the color that says, “Hey, look over here, I’m different and I care”.
Third, what shape says love more than any other shape? A heart. Not the type of heart that is found in those biology text books but the kind you can find anywhere during the month of February. Those are perfect too because not only do they have the natural color of red, which we have already determined to be the most visually captivating, but they also have the shape that have a universal depiction of love and caring. Now these heart shaped uniforms will have to be worn right side up for a couple reasons. First, if it is worn upside down the rounded lobes will be at the feet and the point will be at the head, thus people may confuse the wearer as being a grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. This would only hinder the compassion giving soldier and thus may bring the compassionate soldier in harms way. Second, upside down hearts just do not communicate the universal love and compassion that we have already stated was the key and complete function of this new military force.
Now, worn right side up , these red, heart shaped uniforms will not only get the attention needed but will also loosen peoples pent-up emotional frustrations. The styling is key. We need the Armies of Compassion to be able to function in their duties but we also need to facilitate compassion when those soldiers are not in the mood. Let’s face it sometimes those regular military people don’t really want to kill people so they listen to bombastic music to set the mood before they unleash the destruction and carnage that they have trained so long to learn. So, the uniform of this new hybrid soldier needs to function so as to be the “bombastic music”. The arm holes at the rounded lobes will be just past the natural bend in the person’s shoulders. This will cause the Armies of Compassion to be at a natural hugging stance while also allowing the soldier to give a decent hug to the recipient. Also, these lobes will have to be filled with replaceable stuffing. This will ensure jobs for those making the material and also give a place for the one needing compassion to cry on an accepting, soft and absorbent shoulder.
Fourth, any boy scout will tell you that one of their cardinal rules is to be prepared. Therefore, the Army of Compassion will have to be prepared as well. They will need some sort of pack to hold supplies. They cannot use a backpack as this is a cumbersome obstruction for the one without the pack. They can’t use a duty belt, much like Batman, because that will poke the recipient and just be too uncomfortable for the one needing the compassion. The fanny-pack is the pack that is just right. You do not have the obstruction problems and it will hold a great deal of supplies. These packs can hold loads of snot, mucus and other general face leaking absorbents.
One thing I am a bit confused on is the “armies”. Throughout this letter I’ve used both ‘army’ and ‘armies’ yet our president said “Armies of Compassion”. So I do not know if he is making one of his speech blunders or if there are multiple military organizations that have special sections within them that deal specifically with the area of compassion. That may actually be the case. The Navy has the S.E.A.L.S., and the Marine Corps has the RECON so it wouldn’t be surprising to have different elite groups within already existing military organizations. If anyone has anymore information on this topic or has ideas of their own let me know and maybe we can get to the bottom of this interesting aspect of our ever increasing government and military presence.
posted by T A Lucas | 11/01/2005
2 Comments:
What no comments for the Armies of Compassion? What if I take a picture of a yellow ribbon and put it on the top of the page that way people can see that I "Support the Troops".
I'll comment. I read this when you sent it out as an email, and thought it was interesting. I have relatives in the army, and would agree that what they do is not compassionate. Half of them don't even agree with why they are there. So, rather than support your troops, pray for them.
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