My Big George

This all stemmed from a conversation I had with some friends of mine about how much we love certain things. In my enthusiasm I blurted out a very true statement. “If I could I would marry my George Forman Rotisserie Grill.” I meant it. I really love that thing. It has some of the perfect elements in a great marriage. For instance, it is low maintenance, clean, forgiving with improper care, makes really tasty food, and I can put her in the closet for weeks and she still does everything I ask of her without getting mad.

Wow, look in mid-sentence I went from referring to my grill as an ‘it’ to a ‘she’. Now that’s evolution.

I have let others clean my “Big George” but really it is something I prefer to do. I like to take the time to do the job right and really I think she appreciates it too. My roommate used it once and in her rebellion of being used by someone else she did not cook the food properly. I only hope that she doesn't become like Stephen Kings 'Christine'. Although I would like to see her pop back to normal after getting all busted up I would hate to see my friends getting cooked by her jealous temperament. Look I really have no life and I have no pets so I need to make faux relationships with machines. I had a child in my motorcycle, pause and lament the loss, and now I have a marriage with my rotisserie grill. Now if I can get my friend Matt to make that conversation starter than I will have it all.

The conversation took an uncomfortable pause when I made this statement about my rotisserie grill. And in truth I’ve grown accustomed to the uncomfortable pause and feel that if there isn’t at least one in a conversation with me than I’m really not communicating my ideas accurately enough. And my friends at the table where this conversation was had really tried to back me up. They paused and slowly said how they too see life as better because they have their favorite Bosch blender thing. They are real troopers for going out on that ledge with me. They didn’t say it with the same enthusiasm as I did and maybe that will come with time, but I was excited that that ledge could hold so many people at once.

I think that if I can continue to recruit people to think as strangely as I do at times that this place will be a more enjoyable place. Although, too many people thinking like me could hurt my entrepreneurial ideas like the action hero figures I plan to design and market called Manimals. They are mostly Centaurs (those half man half horse Greek gods) but with the added twist of being half-cow half man. They would be paired with Leprechauns that would use the mancows special milk to fight crime like CSI or Wyatt Earp.