On the Wall at Sword Point

I climbed up to the Great Wall of China and once reaching the top I was surprised by a man dressed as a mongrel. It was fun and slightly frightening. Fun because how often do you get to walk around on the Great Wall and how often do you see a Chinese man who can’t speak english dressed as a mongrel leap out from behind walls to frighten American tourists? It is just comedy waiting to happen, literally. It was also frightening because there was a great deal of rust on this blade and if cut I could have gotten some sort of flesh eating disease. And frightening because after my friend took the picture the sword bearing gentleman demanded money. Had I not paid I think I would have been testing not only his patience but potentially the medical establishment of China. Of course, that could have been a great story (“The adventures inside the E.R. of Beijing”). The picture was already taken and I’m sure there would have been more photos of that sword being used on an American tourist. Well, I would have the pictures unless he came after my friend who after climbing to the wall was not in any shape to out run an armed Chinese man. So, maybe it’s better to pay the extortionist.

The Chinese Me

I spent a couple weeks in China several years ago and really had a good time and met some amazing people. I witnessed a miracle while I was there too. God, in His providence, made it such that I was asked to play basketball with a group of college aged Chinese and naturally I couldn’t resist. So I played, and the miracle was that I dominated. It wasn’t just that I played well (left handed mind you) but being a few inches taller than everyone else I was able to slam that ball back in their faces just like the professionals do. They loved it (well those on my team) they kept comparing me to Michael Jordan. I did explain to them that I have never played this well before but they thought I was just being humble, but really I was as shocked at my level of skill as they were. I have never been able to repeat that performance believe me just ask those I play with now.

There was one guy who couldn’t really speak or understand english that just shadowed me and repeated everything I said. I called him ‘Parrot’. But one of the guys I got to know better after all this I called Dakota. His American name was actually Pine but that just seemed like a strange name so I named him after two of our more northern states. Looking back on that I wish I would have named him something different. Now that I have made that mistake if I ever have children they will be spared the unthought about bad name. They may still get a strange name but at least they will know that I thought about it.

Dakota and I spent a good deal of time together and I got to share the gospel with him which he was very receptive to and very eager to know as much as possible. It was a great time and I came to realize that this guy is (at the time) exactly like me. And therefore is the Chinese Me. Maybe I should have named him that.

It does something part 2

But what is meant when baptism is called a sign? G.I. Williamson claims that baptism is a sign in the sense that it “pictures” something. In popular Reformed sacramental theology, this model is used to evacuate the sacraments of their efficacy. Nothing actually happens when someone is baptized because, after all, it is “just a picture.” Presumably, God does his real work of grace apart from the sacrament of baptism. Thus, whenever the Scriptures read, “baptism does x”, we conveniently read it as, “Baptism pictures/symbolizes x” but this notion of “sign” = “picture” needs to be challenged, along with the denigration of baptismal efficacy that it entails. Baptism does not merely picture something, it accomplishes something. If God intended for baptism to be a picture, he seemed to make a poor choice of rituals. The outward rite simply does not picture what baptism is said to do. Consider some test cases, drawn from the NT’s declarations about baptism that we have already made reference to above:

In Gal. 3.27, Paul claims, “as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.” Baptism is an investiture ceremony. This imagery for baptism is probably drawn from the OT priestly ordination ceremony, which involved a washing with water and a clothing rite (Lev. 8) Paul sees this Old Covenant ritual transformed into New Covenant baptism. But it is hard to see how putting water on someone’s head “pictures” clothing with the priestly garment of Christ.

In Titus 3.5, Paul calls baptism “the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.” Baptism is the sacrament of the new birth. But it will not do to say that baptism “pictures” this new birth. I have had the joy of watching my wife give birth three times now, but never in the delivery room did I witness anything that looked remotely like a baptism. In no obvious way does baptism picture regeneration.

In Romans 6.1ff, Paul says we were united to Christ when we were baptized. Baptism is a kind of wedding ceremony, joining the one baptized to Christ in a covenantal relationship. But, again, the rite itself looks nothing like the covenant-making ceremony that it is said to be.

In 1 Cor. 12.13, Paul says, “by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, “namely, the body of Christ. But once again the rite itself fails to picture incorporation into Christ’s body. Indeed, it is hard to imagine how any ritual could picture such incorporation.

In 1 Peter 3, Peter declares that god saves us through baptism. Baptism is “not the removal of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience towards God.” In other words baptism is precisely not what it looks like! It may look like the outward washing of the body, but Peter says in reality, it is the washing of the conscience before God (cf. Acts 2.38, 22.16). In fact, if God intended baptism to simply picture this cleansing of conscience, it seems drinking water, rather than having it poured on the body, might have been a better choice of rites, since it is internal cleansing that is effected.

-Rich Lusk

Math to the family

I have an addition to the family of food makers. It is a Singer Sandwich Grill but that doesn’t have as nice of a ring to it as my Big George does so I may have to rename it. It also will not be stored in the same place as my Big George. I’m thinking it will sit with my Crock Pot which is in the kitchen. So I guess the family is different than I originally wrote. The husband would be Big George, the mother Crock Pot (because it has some girlie print on it), and the baby would be the Singer Grill. So, apparently I have no real connection with them other than I bought them. So I guess this makes me more of a slave owner. Except the machines can’t procreate so the gift of the Singer was a slave from the beginning and therefore cannot attain its freedom based on being born free. I’m not sure of the sociology of all this, maybe I will have to check out the biblical rules of slavery. I’m sure I will have to set them free in 7 years, but I’m sure they won’t leave on their own so maybe I need to be looking for the ears of these machines so I can drive an awl through them and make them my permanent slaves.

Really this post was to be about my new member of the “slave” family but I have been distracted with new thoughts about being a slave owner. So, the post that was in my head originally is becoming augmented with these new thoughts.

I received the Singer as a gift, as already mentioned, from the people who I said I would marry my Big George if I could. I now realize that that statement could not have been acted upon because Big George was already married to Crock Pot for the last two years. Anyway, I took Singer home and the next day I cleaned it up and got ready to have it make some sandwiches. I sat there for nearly 42 minutes waiting for Singer to make the sandwiches but he never did. I even barked some orders at it and when that didn’t work I even tried just barking at it. Nothing worked and then, while nose to nose with Singer barking at it, I realized the last time I had seen one of these.

It was close to 10 years ago when my good friend Matt was going to college or already at college. His grandmother bought him one of these for his eating enjoyment while living in a dorm at Kansas State. It then clicked that I had to do something, that even though it was a sandwich maker it wouldn’t literally make the sandwiches. So, I put in all the stuff I like on a turkey sandwich. Like turkey. And since the grill was really hot and ‘Ready’ as indicated by the light I put some cheese in there. I like cheese on a sandwich anyway but the thought that this grill would melt the cheese added to my enjoyment of having cheese on a sandwich.
The biggest problem I had was trying to think of whether or not I needed to put some sort of grease on the grill before I put the bread on it. Really the whole think looked very similar to a grilled cheese sandwich. But, I thought of Ron Poppel and he never used grease when he used this grill. (I think I remember him selling these things. If he didn’t then I have just created a false memory, which I do from time to time like the last part of my time in Baltimore). To solve my dilemma I put butter on one side and left the other side to potentially get burnt to a crisp (what is a crisp anyway and why are they burnt?).

Since Singer was ready I put on all the items already mentioned and closed the lid. Like a newborn baby my Singer came without instructions and I wasn’t in the position to ask for help. I mean Singer was signaling that he was ‘Ready’. Plus now I had opened the lid and put on all the stuff and Singer would soon not be ‘Ready’ any longer. Now I know what it is like to land the Space Shuttle. You just have a very narrow margin of time to work with before you have to scrub the whole mission. Being the adventurer that I am I took the risky venture and made a unilateral executive decision and closed the lid. . . almost.

Initially I didn’t take notice of the space between the lid and the base and therefore was unaware of how close they really are. Therefore, when the lid didn’t close I had to do some quick thinking. I squeezed the handles on the lid and the base really, really. . . really hard to get them to close. Had I had my tubby roommate I could have had him sit on Singer and the work would have been less but then it would have been difficult to close the latch on the handles. You know with all the fat that I would have to lift to even see Singer. He would have engulfed the little machine (and he would feel proud that he actually made it in my blog. So if you see my phat roommate you can tell him he made it in here). (When you tell him be sure you tell him I called him phat not fat. You will have to spell phat otherwise he may be offended. The tubby part isn’t offensive so you don’t have to mention that part).

I digress, Singer was closed, the latch was in place and now was the wait. I noticed that the ‘Ready’ light was off and I thought that maybe it would come back on when the food was ‘Ready’.
But as time went on and the light didn’t come back on I thought maybe I was wrong and the light was to come on the second time when the crisp was done. Maybe I hadn’t read the name well enough and this was actually a “Singer Sandwich Grill unless you cook the sandwich too long and then it is the Singer Crisp Maker”. I did see some more writing past the word “Grill” but they were smaller letters and I didn’t think they really mattered. Let that be a lesson to you you should always read the fine print.

To avoid the crisp, which didn’t seem that appetizing, I opened it. Both pieces of bread stuck to Singer and the melted cheese hung in the air like cobwebs. Despite all the carnage it looked good and I was hungry, however I didn’t think it was done so I closed the lid. This was a bad idea because when I opened the lid the alignment of the pieces of bread were shifted and therefore didn’t go back together the way they came apart and there was some new grilling noise that sounded much like crisp noise. I immediately opened to grill and began the evacuation procedure that I had been learning the last few years. Wisdom taught me that when bread, turkey and cheese are making sizzling noises on metal that one of two things are happening. Either the bread, turkey and cheese are really hot and therefore making the metal hot but less hot than the food, or the metal is hotter than the food and the food is sizzling because of the metal. I guess the third option could be a roommate or small child are making sizzling sounds in a far off corner of the house who is doing it not to scare you but for some unknown reason that is only known to that person. After ruling out the other options I again went with wisdom. And it told me that the metal would be hot. Therefore I used a knife to do the evacuation.

A little aside here for a moment while the tension is still at a fever pitch. I have a natural aversion to using knives in a poking fashion with unknown, currently plugged in, machines. I’ve been told that with a toaster this is a bad idea (and the cartoons tell the same story) and this grill seemed similar to a toaster. I also have an aversion to using water and machines (although I’m fine with a washing machine). While Singer sat on the countertop I thought long and hard before I plugged it in. You see while cleaning Singer nearly all of it got wet and I wasn’t too sure if it was supposed to get all wet. Anyway, after plugging it in I was clearly fine or else that would have been the first thing I mentioned.

I have had recent problems with heat and fire, and because of this my right hand and left forearm have paid the highest price. Therefore, I used my left hand to extract whatever the knife couldn’t do. It went flawlessly. All that was left was some residue of cheese from the ill-fated reclosing of the lid that prompted the immediate evacuation. I got it all onto a plate and ate in peace as a satisfied new Singer slave owner.

Sadler quote

“He (St. Paul) was a chosen vessel of God, to bear His name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel. To this end, he must be accredited to the Church around him, have their confidence, and work with and by means of them. It became, therefore, indispensable that he should not only be washed from his sins in the sight of God by the Baptism made without hands, but also in the sight of the Church by the Baptism made with hands. Hence the exhortation of Ananias to him, “Why tarriest thou? Arise, and be baptized, and wash away they sins, calling on the name of the Lord.” “The God of our fathers hath chosen thee. You are His; avow yourself such without delay. You are His soldier, secretly but really enlisted: enroll yourself in the ranks openly, according to His general orders. You are a pardoned sinner before God: proclaim it before men.”

Let the reader, having perused this, now turn to the extracts I have given in Appendix B from Luther and Cranmer. Let him particularly notice that, whereas Luther and Cranmer account Baptism to be, under all circumstances, and act of God, the writer of the above considers it to be, under all circumstances, and act of the man baptized—simply a practical proof, as well as a significant act, of his inward submission to God. Now, if this be the meaning and intent of Baptism, inasmuch as no one soul can really know the sincerity of another, it seems to me that Baptism, by the hand of any minister whatsoever, is a pure mockery, for no man can really vouch for the sincerity of his fellow-man. And so, to carry out fully this idea, not only must the Baptism of Infants be at once abandoned, but that of adults, by any hands except their own.
If Baptism be an avowal of sincerity, inasmuch as each individual is the sole judge of his own sincerity, each man ought to baptize himself. From the preceding extracts, one would imagine that the leading view of Baptism which we find in the New Testament is that it is a profession of faith; whereas, in no one single place in the New Testament is Baptism said to be a profession of faith, or an avowal of faithfulness.
I repeat again, the place cannot be named where it is said to be a profession. The place cannot be named where it is not connected with spiritual grace, supposed to be bestowed in it. There is, of course, a profession of faith to be made before a man can be baptized; but this takes place before the Baptism, and the Baptism itself is always the act of another, in the name of His who commissioned him.

- M.F. Sadler in “The Second Adam and The New Birth”

stealing or bought?

I was in a discussion a little while ago and the subject of motels and the use of their toiletries came up. I maintained the position that when you rent a room you have the right to use the toiletries that are necessary, but when you leave you leave those items that you didn’t use. However, those whom I was talking to thought that it is perfectly fine to take as many of those little soaps and shampoos that are there because you bought the room. I thought this idea problematic because where do you put on the brakes. Are the pictures, comforter, table and chairs, and trashcan up for grabs too or is there a secret code that says that these are off limits. I’m curious if I’m the only one who thinks that just because you can ask for more soaps when you need them doesn’t mean that you can take all the soaps you don’t use. Some think these toiletries are bought and I think not.

It does something

I’ve been very curious about the efficacy of baptism lately and it has caused me to think back on my conversion. A man, named Mike, on the college campus I was going to had been talking to me frequently about Christ and my need to believe the gospel. I wanted none of it, but he was persistent. But never in our conversation did he ask me to “pray the prayer”. He would show me some prooftexts and say, “Do you believe this?”. Which I would respond, “Well, it’s all very probable so . . . ya. I believe it.” Upon hearing this he would become very excited and ask me to be baptized. Naturally I recoiled at this because of all that this implied. It is easy to say you believe a list of presuppositions but then to be baptized is to acknowledge that you identify with these people who believe these presuppositions.

Mike did not follow the modern evangelical route of getting me to pray the prayer but followed more closely to the bible and once someone believes he is then baptized. This follows the words of Jesus when he said, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Jesus did not say, “make disciples of the nations by asking them to come forward for an alter call” or “getting them to sign cards at a youth rally” or even to pray a prayer. Jesus calls us to baptize those who profess a belief in God. Therefore, if this is the prescribed mode that God calls for in the discipling of the nations then we shouldn’t be so caviler with casting it off as being a mere detail of the Christian life. I assert that it is essential.

Mike was right in telling me to be baptized if I believed and I was equally right in denying the baptism if I disbelieved. Why? because the sacrament isn’t just a bare naked symbol. Over and over again when the writers of the bible speak on baptism it is doing something. It is either uniting us to Christ (Rom 6), cleansing us (Eph. 5), forgiving us of sin (Acts 2, 22), giving the Holy Spirit (Acts 2), signifies us as buried and risen with Christ (Col. 2), clothes us with Christ (Gal 3), justifies and sanctifies (1 Cor. 6), and saves (1 Peter 3). How can it do all this and yet still be a mere symbol? The modern evangelical church thinks it has the Holy Spirit in a box and that they can pull it out whenever they want to. “Just do these 4 laws and pray this prayer and hocus-pocus your saved.” We even go as far as calling these laws ‘spiritual’ as if that makes it a more sanctified formula. But when the people leave do we have any assurance of their salvation? Do we know that they really meant it when they prayed those words. I mean after all we did coach them through the whole process.

Not only did we have no assurance of their union with Christ but these people have nothing biblical to harken back to when they are confronted with sin. John Calvin wrote in his Institutes, “Therefore, as often as we fall away, we ought to recall the memory of our baptism and fortify our mind with it, that we may always be sure and confident of the forgiveness of sins. For, though baptism, administered only once, seemed to have passed, it was still not destroyed by subsequent sins.” I had a low view of church when I was converted and thus waited 6 months before I was baptized and through my waiting I was able to do it in the presence of my family. The witness that this was to my family cannot adequately be expressed, but it did have an impact.

Growing up in Jr. and Sr. High school I hated Christians. I found their arguments ridiculous and their mythology more fanciful than my own. Yet, once I was converted I accepted all that I thought Christians were and believed and all that I thought Christians believed. Christians are creationists therefore even though I was an evolutionists and all my evidence pointed to that I was now a creationist. Also, Christians read the bible. The bible had both the new and old testament therefore it all was applicable. Since it is a book I read it from the beginning and where Israel was mentioned I put myself. Why did I do this? Because I saw that in baptism and in my belief in Christ I was identifying with the people of God. These Jews were the covenant people of God therefore how God deals with them applies to me.

Now not all of this did I formulate arguments for nor did I fully understand what I was doing. God, in his providence, put enough skepticism in me to inherently disbelieve everything that Christians told me. Whether that be a preacher or some guy on campus. I always went back to the bible to see if they were right. I think this kept me out of much of the modern evangelical thinking. Still, no matter how strong an oak is if it is immersed in water it will get wet. Yet, despite all this modern inherently Arminian evangelicalism, once I was presented with the ideas of Calvinism I told the person that presented them to me that this is what I have always believed from the beginning of my conversion. I have never not believed that God had everything to do with my salvation and that without Him I would never have wanted to follow Him. Much less continue to follow. I did not do anything to save myself, such as make a decision for Him, nor do I do anything to maintain my union with Him. He does it all from beginning to end. He is the author and finisher of my faith. My salvation was and is by faith and not of works therefore I boast in Christ and not myself. Eph. 2.8-10 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that no of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one can boast For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” 1 Cor. 1.30, “But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, that, just as it is written, ‘Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”

So all this to say baptism does something more than just identify us with Christ for ourselves and for some witnesses. The bible doesn’t necessarily leave it at that. There is far more that is communicated with the sacrament than can be put on a blog, but the bible is an exhaustive work and it is in there that it is the most fully expressed.

1 Corinthians 10

Corinth was a town of rank immorality and a town of both Jews and Gentiles. The church was also a mixed bag of both Jews and Gentiles, yet this did not stop Paul from declaring, “that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. . . “. What event was Paul referring to, and why would he include the Gentiles with the language “our” when the Gentiles do not have the same fathers as the Jews? This gets at the nature of the covenant. Paul says in Romans 2.28-29, “For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly; neither is circumcision that which is outward in the flesh. But he is Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter, and his praise is not from men but from God.” The Apostle Paul could not make it any more clear as to who is a Jew and who isn’t. A Jew is a person who has the Law written on their heart, a person who loves the Lord and demonstrates his love for the Lord by obeying the Law.

The event in history that Paul was harkening back to was the deliverance of Israel from Egypt by passing though the Red Sea. God delivered His covenant people from bondage not because of their obedience but because of His promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Paul uses the word “our” in reference to the fathers to signify that these men of faith are fathers to all those who believe God both Jew and Gentile. Thus they are our spiritual fathers but not necessarily our fathers by bloodline. If Paul were strictly talking about our ethnic fathers then he would be leaving out a significant portion of his congregation there at Corinth. Paul made it quite clear in First Corinthians chapter one verse two that he was talking to the entire church, “to the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours.”

These fathers, theirs and ours, were ethnically Jews and some spiritually (i.e. Moses, Aaron, Jacob, and Caleb), but not all of them. Or else why would God “lay low” so many in the wilderness? God promised Abraham in Genesis 12 and 15 that He would be his God and that Abraham would be a blessing to all the families on the earth and that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the heavens. God has not failed to do this. The Gentiles were brought into covenant with God as Israel transgressed from the Lord. Therefore, through Israel’s rejection of God the Gentiles were grafted into the “rich root of the olive tree” (Romans 11.17). Thus brought into covenant with God the Gentiles can lay claim to the rich heritage of the Jewish forefathers as being “our” people.

“For I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea” (1 Cor. 10.1-2). If all of Israel was baptized then that would mean that the men, women and children were baptized or set apart for God. Baptism is the initiatory rite of the covenant that God has made with His people. We see the initiatory rite of circumcision in Genesis 17.10-11, “And you shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a sign of the covenant between Me and you. And every male among you who is eight days old shall be circumcised throughout your generations, a servant who is born in the house or who is bought with money from any foreigner, who is not of your descendants. A servant who is born in your house or who is bought with your money shall surely be circumcised; thus shall My covenant be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.” We see that circumcision was the sign of the covenant with God’s people in the Old Covenant and baptism has replaced circumcision in the New. This is seen in Colossians 2.11-12, “and in Him you were also circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, in the removal of the body of the flesh by circumcision of Christ; having been buried with Him in baptism,in which you were also raised up with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead.” And our union with Christ is stated in Romans 6.4, “Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we slso should walk in newness of life.”

Therefore, 1 Corinthians shows that all Israel was brought into covenant with God as they passed through the Red Sea because all passed through the sea and all were baptized into Moses. At this point I could go into the typology of Moses and how he is a type of Christ in many areas of the Older Testament yet that is reserved for a future writing. At this point Paul now directs the people to the second sign of covenant with His people by communing with them. We see this throughout the Older Testament with the Temple, Ark of the Covenant and things of this nature. Yet, here we see that God tabernacled with His people by having them partake of Himself.

First Corinthians 10.1-5 describes the events of Moses and the Red Sea, Manna in the wilderness, and water brought forth from the rock in the wilderness. He says that the fathers partook of these things. Yet, who else partook of these things? If only the males passed through the Red Sea then why does Exodus 13 describe all the Jews as passing through the Red Sea? If only the males ate and drank the spiritual food then the women and children would have perished in the wilderness. Yet, as described further in Exodus it is the next generation who enter the promised land. Therefore, we must speak as scripture speaks and say that all Israel, men women and children, passed through the Red Sea, ate the Manna in the wilderness, and drank of the Rock in the wilderness.

If we admit this, as scripture would warrant, then what does scripture say they actually did? “[A]nd all ate the same spiritual food; and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ” 1 Corinthians 10. If this isn’t clear enough in John 6 Jesus says the He was the manna from heaven. Therefore, those men, women and children were all partaking of Christ. They communed with God, by the sacrament of communion. So you see very clearly that Paul is stating that those who ate the manna were partaking of Christ and those who were drinking the water were partaking of Christ. All those who were doing these two things had the second sign of the covenant. Jesus institutes the sacrament of communion in Matthew 26 and states that his body and blood are to be consumed by those who are in covenant with Him. We see that Judas is one of those who communions with the Lord but he spurns the grace contained within the sacrament.

So, one can see that God is calling these people to follow Him and to partake of Him covenantally. The men are called individually yet because of that calling the entire family is called into covenant with God;. The woman is not left out of the signs of the covenant because she doesn’t believe in God. She is partaking of Christ and is obligated to obey because of her union with her believing husband or father. Likewise the children are not kept from being baptized or eating of Christ till they are able to articulate a “correct theology”. They partake on the basis of their covenantal union with God through their father.

“Nevertheless with most of them God was not well pleased; for they were laid low in the wilderness.” When Paul says “laid low” he is saying that they died. God recognized their covenantal union with Him and He held them to the obligations of the covenant. He gave them signs, seals and symbols of this union, nevertheless, despite them being in covenant with Him, “with most of them” He was not pleased. God was not pleased with them so He affected justice on His people and they died as a result of their disobedience to the obligations of the covenant.

One might ask, “what was God not pleased with?” The verses in this section look back to events in Israel’s history such as the crossing of the Red Sea, manna in the wilderness, water coming from a rock, rejection of going into the Promised Land, the Golden calf, marring women who worshipped foreign gods, grumbling against God (biting of the serpents), and the rebellion of Korah. Throughout all this their prevailing attitude was a continual looking back at the time in Egypt as being the time of blessing. They viewed this as a time when all their needs were met and they had “modern” conveniences mask their slavery. They disdained God’s provision of food even while the food was in their mouths. They mocked God’s promises by claiming that Egypt was the real place of milk and honey and not the land their fathers were promised. They said this with full mouths as God had continually met all their needs and yet they grumbled, craved evil things, walked in idolatry, acted immorally, an tried the Lord.

They did not humbly accept and praise God for what they had been given. Notice too that it was the fathers who rebelled against the Lord yet the women and children were also punished. Korah and his entire family as well as everything he owned was swallowed up by the Earth.

Verses 6, 11-14

“Now these things happened as examples for us, that we should not crave evil things, as they also craved. Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.”

Now if these items of history happened and have been written down for our instruction then what are we to learn from them? We must learn from our history so as to not incur the same consequences from the sins committed or to receive the blessings from obeying the law. After all, if I can see a man that has been stopped by the police on the same highway that I am traveling on then that is a lesson and a hint that I may need to check my speed to make sure that I am following the law.

The first lesson is clear we mustn’t crave evil things. Paul chose these items of history with a purpose and nearly all of them deal with God’s chosen people rebelling against Go’s ways. They have the attitude of, “Sure God has been good to us right now, but what about later and actually I think we were better off when we were slaves for the Egyptians. At least there we had three meals a day. I see a lot of trouble ahead therefore He has led me here and has now abandoned me.” The other attitude is one of envy for those things that God has prohibited, such as foreign wives. They are not foreign in the sense that they were of a different ethnic origin; they were foreign in the sense of a different religion. As the people of God mingled with and married foreign women of foreign gods then the people of God began to worship those gods. This is not devotion to God but devotion to convenience, with god abhors. These prohibitions that the Lord has instituted are not in place to keep one from having fun but to protect His people from actions that are destructive to His people and His name. This is not an exhaustive look at these lessons but they tested, grumbled against, were unsatisfied, discontent, untrusting, and faithless towards the very God who delivered them from the bondage of Egypt and was willing to give them the promises that He promised to their forefathers.

They became arrogant in their stance and what God had done for them. They thought they could stand; yet in the end they fell. We too must be careful how we live and see that everything that the LORD has blessed us with is by His mercy and grace and we stand (are justified) by grace through faith. It is when we become most complacent in our faith and our walk with the Lord that we are most susceptible of falling into sin and if that sin is left unrepented of then we will incur the judgment of God. This does not necessarily mean that God dos not love you, for He is love. Hebrews 12 teaches us a little about the nature of God’s love for His children.

God’s judgment can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the recipient’s actions. Abraham, Moses, David, and Paul sinned against the Lord and did incur a certain judgment from the Lord, yet they inherited the promises of God. They are in heaven now. What did they do? They repented of their sin and lived in obedience to His word. We, in like manner, ought to do the same. If God says in Exodus 32.33 that He will blot certain people out of His book and Jesus says a similar thing in Revelation 3.5 then we must understand that those people were in the book. They had a real union with the Lord. They were the people of God, Israel. We can only understand this if we look at scripture covenantally and gain wisdom from John 15 and Romans 11. Both in some ways describe a vine or branch and a vine or branch are representative of God’s covenant people. Those branches that do not bear fruit are cut off and thrown into the fire. Now these branches had an organic, objective, real relationship with the plant/root. You would not see the branch and not realize that it was a branch for it is declared to be a branch. Yet they were cut off for not being fruitful. It is a word picture as its often used in the bile and that fruit is described in Galatians chapter 3 and that fruit comes from those who are indwelt with the Holy Spirit. So, they (the unfruitful branches) were broken off so that I might be grafted in and therefore I stand by faith. Because I, being a wild olive branch, do not deserve this blessing of being grafted into this olive tree that is God’s family, but that is exactly what has happened.

Yet knowing this we ust not fear because we have a great promise from God. “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.” Verse 13 from 1 Corinthians 10. What is this way of escape? The way of escape is Jesus Christ Himself. As we repent of our sin we will turn in the direction of our Savior and live for Him. He has redeemed us, He was the Lamb that was slain for the remission of our sins, therefore, we must live for HIm. It is the only proper response. Read the scriptures given on your own time and think upon what those temptation were that the people of God fell into in the Older Testament. They are those of 1 John 2.15-16, “Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.” This is what all sin ultimately falls into; a lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life. It is what got Eve in the Garden, it is what got these people of god in the Older TEstament and it is what gets the people of God today. Therefore, let us “pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.”

“Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.” verse 14. All that Paul has been discussion about our forefathers is summarized in this verse. Our forefather’s sinful actions are there as lighthouses to guide us away from danger and that danger is idolatry. Idolatry may take many forms such as a Golden calf or something more subtle, like self-worship. When we use the time that God has given us as a time to glorify the self instead of the Father than we have put our time at a premium above time with God either through prayer, reading or the Word, or other forms of worship. We are to flee idolatry and thus by doing this we will be demonstration that we have learned from our forefathers and progressed in our understanding of God’s word.

May the Lord bless the reader and hearer of His blessed word.

My humble apologies

To avoid anymore confusion and in an attempt to forestall the potential for a bad name I have removed one of my more "enlightening" posts. For those who read it and were worried about me, let me comfort you by telling you that I'm not as strange as this post about unhealthy women could have made you think I was. Don't get me wrong, my humor, observations, and theories are a bit strange but with my lack of clarity and peoples natural inclination to assume the worst the potential for a massive train wreck of ideas and assumptions about the writer was nearly unavoidable. As was proven by some of the comments made. For those who never read the post on 'unhealthy women', you are better off for it. Those who are still distressed by the post may need to contact me further, or just believe me when I say that I'm not that bad. Wherever your fanciful ideas may take you. That's it, good day.

Salvation and the Church

Westminster Confession of Faith:

“The visible Church, which is also catholic or universal under the gospel (not confined to one nation as before under the law), consists of all those throughout the world that profess the true religion: and of their children: and is the kingdom of the Lord Jesus Christ, the house and family of God, out of which there is no ordinary possibility of salvation.”

John Calvin

“I shall start, then, with the church, into whose bosom God is pleased to gather his sons, not only that they may be nourished by her help and ministry as long as they are infants and children, but also that they may be guided by her motherly care until they mature and at last reach the goal of faith. ‘for what God has joined together, it is not lawful to put asunder” [Mark 10.9], so that, for those to whom he is Father the church may also be Mother. And this was so not only under the law but also after Christ’s coming, as Paul testifies when he teaches that we are the children of the new and heavenly Jerusalem [Gal. 4.26].

For there is not other way to enter into life unless this mother conceive us in her womb, give us birth, nourish us at her breast, and lastly, unless she keep us under her care and guidance until, putting off mortal flesh, we become like the angels [Matt. 22.30].

“Remember me, O Jehovah, with favor toward thy people; visit me with salvation; that I may see the well-doing of thy chosen ones, that I may rejoice in the joy of they nation, that I may be glad with thine inheritance” [Ps. 106.4-5; Ps. 105.4]. By these words God’s fatherly favor and the especial witness of spiritual life are limited to his flock, so that it is always disastrous to leave the church.

Good book

Just a really good book. It is about baptism and its efficacy and it is a really challenging read.

Riding in Baltimore

I was in Baltimore Maryland last summer taking a class on how to do general maintenance on Halmatro Rescue Tools. They are tools like the jaws of life that you see fire fighters using. I was there because at the time I was a fire fighter and it was to help me go to the South Pole, which regrettably never took place. The most amazing part about the whole thing was the time after the class.

There were about 8 men in the class and there were no women. (Not that that really matters I’m just giving you an idea of the class size). The class was to last for two days so on the first night the eight of us decided to go out on the town. This was as close to the actual Mason/Dixion line that I ever came to at that time. I actually crossed it this summer but never even seen a marker to tell me that I crossed it. I figured such an old town as Baltimore would have a pretty interesting buffet of pubs and local breweries. This may be true but the group I was traveling with wasn’t really interested in good beer. Although, to their credit they were into good desserts. We walked a lot and ended up in the little Italy part of Baltimore and had some Gelatino (whatever that Italian ice cream is called).

After this we walked around and I found a couple of giraffes standing in downtown Baltimore. They didn’t seem comfortable in a town of this size so I slowly approached one of them and calmly reassured him that I meant him no harm. When I got to the point of being able to put my hands on him I anti-calmed him by yelling “Lion!!”. You would have thought this was stupid and mean had you not been there but I used to be a large animal zoo keeper/trainer and I know what I’m doing. You see I’m a person of small stature and I have chicken legs, and, in case you are unaware adult giraffes are quite tall. Therefore, in order for me to mount this giraffe I would need someone to hoist me to the top or get the giraffe to sit. This giraffe did not look to be well trained so sitting was out of the question so I scared it. When a giraffe is scared, and the type of scared that means they will die if they don’t move like lightening, then they will lower their body slightly to increase the amount of power in the next step. So, when I screamed, “Lion!!” the giraffe, being scared for its life, lowered slightly and at this point I jumped aboard.

Once on board it took quite a bit of talking to get him to calm back down, but
back in my early days with the zoo I was known as the large animal whisperer. It was shortened to whatever animal I was currently working with so in this case I would have been called the Giraffe Whisperer. I drove ‘Fred’ back to where my friends were and had them take my picture. I grew attached to the giraffe and affectionately called him Fred.


The sad part of this photo is that the reason of there being a giraffe in downtown Baltimore became all too evident. This is why Fred has the deer-in-the-headlights look. At this moment there was a stampede of people (I assume Baltimoreans although none of them stopped to tell me who they were). Followed behind them was a stampede of other zoo animals. (I have poor sentence structure so I am using the ‘other zoo animals’ to refer to Fred being a zoo animal and I am not saying that Baltimoreans are zoo animals. That just wouldn’t be kind).

This is the last photo that my friend took. I don't know if those are his skivies on those horns or someone else's. Either way it is pretty terrifying. The guy who took the photo was never seen again as the onslaught of animals and people crushed him into microdust. To make sure I didn’t inhale him I held my breath for as long as I could and then pulled my shirt over my nose and used it as a filter. The shirt filtered out the big stuff which I find to be the most damaging parts that can compromise your immune system. Thankfully the guy didn’t use the lanyard on the camera (like I told him to) or I would have lost my camera too. As it was it was tossed from his hands and landed behind a lightpost and free from the danger of the mob.

The national guard come rolling through on tanks and large trucks and I offered my assistance with rounding up the mob and stampede. But since I didn’t dress like a tree they didn’t want me to help. Although, one of the guys behind the one in charge kept clamoring to ride my giraffe. I gave the man in charge a brief history of my dealing with large zoo animals and he let me go to round up the ‘herd’ on my own. You see I can be pretty persuasive when I’m riding an adult giraffe in downtown Baltimore. I really felt like the guy in “The Man from Snowy River”. Although there wasn’t a big hill to travel down.

To make a long story short I was able to round up the rest of the zoo animals and the mayor of Baltimore thanked me for my hard work with bringing calm back to the city of Baltimore. I guess now my friends at the zoo will call me the Baltimore Whisperer. In addition to the National Guard this fella help too. I just called him Gringo. He had a natural persuasion all his own.

Rogue's I2PA

Rogue Imperial Pale Ale

I brewed this beer a little over 5 weeks ago and in doing this I made a vow to God that I would not taste any alcohol till I put this beer in a keg. Hallelujah my fast is over! And may God be praised for His provision of beer. I did make allowances for special occasions such as Thanksgiving and fellowship times with the men of the church but other than that I remained without God’s wonderful blessing. The beer should have only taken two weeks to ferment but when I made the beer the temperature dropped 20 degrees and since the only heat I have in the house is that which is generated by our fireplace and since I don't get home till 1700 hrs. that means that the house is essentially the same temp. as it is outside. This being the case the low temp caused my yeast to slow down its work. In addition to the low temp the beer is an imperial (meaning more ingredients and therefore a higher alcohol content) the yeast was working extra hard to continue the fermentation process.

So at around 3 weeks the fermentation stopped and I checked the specific gravity and it was only a little past halfway through its fermentation process. Plus, the most alarming thing was that it was retrograde fermenting. Meaning that the air was being sucked into the carboy and into the beer. This isn’t good.
Normal fermentation will have bubbles come out of the carboy and into the air via the gooseneck devise called an airlock.

I called the Home Brewery where I get all my supplies and they were more than helpful in helping me with my problem. (They can be reached at 1.800.321.BREW or www.homebrewery.com they are fantastic). They told me that the yeast in my beer went dormant because of the low temperature and the hard time it was having in fermenting. So, I siphoned the beer out into a bucket and then siphoned it back into the carboy to reactivate the yeast. I also filled up a plastic tub with water and put the carboy into it with an aquarium heater that I wasn’t using.

I think the theory is a sound one (if the water is a certain temperature such as 70* then the beer will be the same temperature). However, it was still a slow and arduous process. So around week 4 I began to put the beer on top of our kegerator while we had our fireplace going. This seemed to work pretty well as the stopcock was pretty active.


But alas, the yeast once again went dormant and since the specific gravity was around 1.03 (ideal would be 1.02) I went ahead and kegged the beer. I tried it and although there was a great deal of sediment (yeast and left over hops) the beer was pretty good. Although, I will let it sit in the keg for about 2 weeks before I will really tap this beer. The time will help it mellow out a bit. But it will still be pretty hoppy. Rogue just makes really good beers and even though this is just a clone of theirs it tastes much like what they make. I made a Rochfort Trappist Ale #10 that tastes better than the original. My roommate Blake helped me with that one.

These books are just good reading. If you can't read them the books are all of early Antarctic exploration and they are "Endurance" by Alfred Lansing, "Shackelton's Forgotten Men", and "Mawson's Will". Although, the authors do not write with an expressly Christian worldview the care and providence of God is clear through out these mens ordeals. These are just great true stories of men overcoming tremendous odds and the natural elements of nature to accomplish missions that are bigger than themselves and the will to die for the men beside them. To me there are numerous Christian themes here. Living for Christ and being a member of His church is truely to be in something much bigger than yourself and we too must be willing to die for our friend/brother Christ. In addition to all this you get to hear/read how people manage to live and continue the struggle to survive when they have to deal with the soles of their feet falling off. When does that ever happen? I just can't put these books down.

Something funny

My roommate brought this to my attention from Credenda Agenda Vol. 13 Number 3 titled "The Hearing" by Douglas Wilson. I don't know if the events actually happened or not, but if they didn't then they are still funny. And if they did actually happen then they are hysterical. Enjoy.

In a forward he wrote for a forthcoming book of mine on education (excused Absence by Crux Press), Marvin Olasky was kind enough to mention an edifying thought experiment which had me, no doubt for sins committed in my youth, nominated for the post of Secretary of Education. He mentioned that some members of Congress might salivate at the prospect of asking certain questions. He did not mention that the impossibility of ever getting to answer said questions is a very deep and abiding grief for me.

SEN. KENNEDY: Your opening comments, Mr. Wilson, were, um, to the point. But I thought I heard in there somewhere that you were opposed to prayer in our public schools. Can I have heard you correctly?

WILSON: Yes, sir. You heard correctly.

SEN. KENNEDY: How is this consistent with the well-known agenda of the Religious Right to return prayer to the public schools?

WILSON: It is not consistent.

SEN. KENNEDY: I have to say that I am surprised and somewhat gratified to hear. . .

WILSON: I am opposed to prayer in the government schools for the same reason I am opposed to drinking fountains, lockers, classrooms and children there. If we take all the children out, as we clearly should, then we have neatly solved the vexing problem of prayer there [catcalls and laughter from the gallery].

SEN. KENNEDY: Well, this explains something. Is it not true that you hail from northern Idaho? Your region, as you perhaps know, has a reputation for extremism—do you plan on bringing an extremist agenda to the Department of Education?

WILSON: No sir. I consider myself a moderate. Extremists are to my right and left.

SEN. KENNEDY: What sort of education reform proposal would you consider extreme?

WILSON: The famous writer H.L. Mencken once said that there was nothing wrong with our system of education that could not be solved by burning all the schools and hanging all the teachers. This is extreme, in my view.

SEN. KENNEDY: Do you want to be confirmed?

WILSON: Not really.

SEN. KENNEDY: What would you do if confirmed?

WILSON: I would be happy to give the employees three weeks to wrap up various projects, clear out their desks, send out resumes, that sort of thing. I would hope to get the job done and be back in Idaho within a month or so.

SEN. KENNEDY: No more questions. I have heard quite enough.

SEN. CLINTON: What is your view of the president’s proposed budget?

WILSON: With regard to education, you mean?

SEN. CLINTON: Yes.

WILSON: I am deeply concerned about all the money in it.

SEN. CLINTON: Concerned? Money?

WILSON: In my view, all that money came from somewhere, and most of it wasn’t from me. So I think we should return it.

SEN. CLINTON: You should know that we cannot have the kind of educational system we have today without taxation.

WILSON: This is true. If you really want to have government education, in order to rear a child, it takes a pillage.

SEN. CLINTON: Village.

WILSON: Excuse me. Yes, ma’am. That too.

SEN. CLINTON: Do you support the bill recently introduced in the House which calls for federal standards for all homeschoolers?

WILSON: No, ma’am. I do not.

SEN. CLINTON: Do you have a reason? Or do you just repeat whatever you hear on talk radio? Do they even have radio in the century you come from?

WILSON: No, ma’am. I don’t listen to talk radio. Rush is a commie.

SEN. CLINTON: I was asking for a reason for your opposition to a bill that sets standards for all homeschoolers.

WILSON: I do not believe that people who are too stupid to educate their own children are wise enough to educate other people’s.
SEN. CLINTON: It is obviously pointless to argue with you. But for those who might be swayed by such vicious and hate-filled sentiments, may I ask what you would do with all those children who grow up without an education because of this lack of educational standards?

WILSON: They would get a job with the government.

SEN. CLINTON: Are you aware that what you are doing qualifies as hate speech?

WILSON: That wouldn’t surprise me.

SEN. CLINTON: Don’t you ever worry about being charged with hate crimes?

WILSON: As opposed to what? The regular run-of-the-mill love crimes?

SEN. CLINTON: Mr. Chairman, I would like to register my formal protest that this man was brought here at all . . .

WILSON: I take it that I am about to be dismissed? I didn’t even have a chance to work in a reference to my friendship with Steve Wilkins, and my affection for the Confederate flag . . .
General chaos followed. The nominee was removed and is not really cooperating with the authorities.

Walter Payton talked to me!

I apologize for all those who have been waiting for me to write something. I just can’t think of anything to write. Actually, that isn’t exactly true. I think of all sorts of things but I’m never in a position to write those thoughts down. Then since I didn’t write anything down I forget all those wonderful thoughts once I’m in front of a computer. I knew that I was going to be in front of a computer for the next 6 hours so I thought I might try to remember something to write down. I thought I would share one of my claims to fame.

I grew up watching football with my Dad and because I grew up in the 80’s I loved the Chicago Bears and more importantly I idolized Walter Payton. I didn’t idolize him in the sense of building wooden or stone figures of him and worshiping them. Although, I did set aside every Sunday afternoon to see how he performed that week and anytime there was a bye weekend for the Bears I was saddened. So, I guess I did worship him. I set aside a particular day, his stats were my bible, and I had numerous football cards of him that I stored very carefully and only took out on special occasions kinda like an idol. That all sounds pretty religious to me. So I stand corrected (self-corrected) I did idolize Walter Payton in the way I didn’t originally think I idolized him.

Anyway, I was more than upset in 1986 when William ‘Refrigerator’ Perry ran a 2-4 yard run for a touchdown during the Superbowl when Walter Payton never scored a touchdown in the game. I mean the Bears beat the Patriots 55 to 10 you would think the best running back of all time could be given the opportunity to score a touchdown in the one game where every player wants to be. Walter Payton retired in 1987 and in an emotional knee jerk reaction I found a new team to pull for. I followed/worshiped Walter Payton not the Bears. Although, to this day I still see how they are doing kinda like a step-team. Which I guess makes me a step-fan. Now on special football holidays I will have to split my time between my two teams. It’s all so complicated now. I advise not getting involved with other teams. Just pick one and keep that one till you die. It makes life much easier to deal with.

I’m getting on a tangent here. Around 1995 I found out that Walter Payton was going to be in Wichita at a Lawn and Garden show. I don’t know how I found this out because at the time I couldn’t care less about lawns or gardens. But being the worshiper of Walter Payton I saw my opportunity to see this great man and I took advantage of the situation. I went into my closet and retrieved those coveted football cards. I had these cards vacuumed sealed (with the same vacuum sealer that my Dad and I used to dispatch some unwanted puppies. That isn’t a funny story so I won’t share that one, but just a part of my strange upbringing) so I had to open the bag that had the rookie card and second year card. I don’t think I can fully explain the emotions that were envolved with this action . . . so I’ll try. I spent a great deal of money on these cards and looking for them was a passion of mine as a boy. Actually, it was more of an all consuming drive. It wasn’t quite like the Star Trek fan freakiness but as close as you could come without actually painting myself black and getting a tight curled fade. I was around 20 years old when this was happening and Walter Payton retired from football in 1987, so for 8 to 10 years these cards remained in the package behind the doors of my closet and hidden behind a bunch of other stuff. Mr. Payton was only going to sign 1 autograph per person and I had two cards that I wanted signed so I got my brother to help me.

I’m not sure what Walter Payton was doing at a Lawn and Garden show but regardless of his reasons my brother, his wife, and I got there early enough to beat most of Wichita. We later found out that Mr. Payton was only going to sign a few autographs and then they would turn everyone else away. The enthusiasm was pretty high for myself and my sister-in-law who happened to be the self-proclaimed “Biggest Bears Fan Ever”. My brother could not have cared any less. (He wasn’t into football therefore not into the Bears therefore not into Walter Payton. He liked burning things and shooting rabbits with his blowgun). We stood in line for what seemed like an eternity. There were all sorts of people but mostly older people and guys explaining to their children why it was so important to spend hours in a line that led to a man that wasn’t Santa.

The guy in front of me had a Bears football helmet that had a few signatures from other Bears like Gale Sayers. My brother’s wife was in front of my brother (she was holding her own 8X10 glossy photo) and my brother was in front of me (he was holding my Walter Payton second year card) and I was next holding the Rookie card. It was great, I was beaming, my sister-in-law was beside herself and my brother was just beside the both of us. It was a lot like the movie “A Christmas Story” and my sister-in-law and I were like Ralph’s little brother (“Oh, wow a Zeppelin!”) and my brother was like Ralph while wearing the ‘Deranged Easter Bunny’ outfit. It was quite the sight.

The anticipation of actually communicating with what I now realize was my deity was nerve racking. I was also nervous about my brother mishandling my football card. I’m pretty anal about most things and during my football card days was learned the fine art of being anal. But to my brother’s credit he knew of my paranoia and did everything flawlessly. I was very grateful. However, as I extended my card to Walter Payton, with my ear to ear grin, I got a punch in the gut. Not a literal one though. I handed the card to him and said something I can’t remember, it is all a blur now, but I do remember Walter Payton’s response. How could I forget, the man I worshiped for so many years was talking to me? He said, “Didn’t you already come through here?” Did I already come through here? What do you mean? I would have to beat all of Wichita twice and still get in line before the cut off. None of this actually went through my mind though. I just thought this is crazy Walter Payton is talking to me.

So, I did what I do in most uncomfortable situations I think of something funny to say. My humor didn’t fail me either as I said, “No, I haven’t been here before. But you know us white guys we all look alike.” He laughed heartily and looked up to his body guard and said, “I didn’t say that, I didn’t say that” while laughing. If I remember right his body guard was laughing too. And in some of my more warped recollections I remember everyone in line and at the entire Lawn and Garden show laughing and explaining and reexplaining to those around them the great joke I told to a living legend, but I only remember that when I’m becoming conceited.

This was just fantastic here I am standing in the presence of my boyhood hero and I told a joke that he actually laughed at, and he wasn’t laughing to just be nice. I actually caught his funny bone unexpectedly. He signed the card, shook my hand and was just really happy. I like to think that I made his day. Oh sure he was really honored to be signing the same helmet that Gale Sayers signed but after hundreds of signatures I’m sure a good laugh was like a breath of fresh air or a cup of cold water on a hot day. I think I floated away from his table and into my brother’s car. It all didn’t sink in till later on that I made Walter Payton laugh at one of my jokes. I wasn’t just another faceless fan in an endless line of people I was the white guy that made a funny racist joke.

I have put those cards back into their vacuum sealed bags but due to childhood trauma I haven’t been able to bring myself to use the vacuum sealer again, and it’s broken. So, the cards remain open to the air and all the damaging chemicals in that element.