Spotless Mind

I am at work now and occasionally when people don’t want to die I get time to view a movie. A co-worker of mine brought a Jim Carrey movie called “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. I hate to give an endorsement for a movie as it can be problematic. If they cuss then those who I recommended the movie to will think I think cussing is okay. However, this movie is interesting. Very quickly the story is, Boy and Girl meet and begin dating each other. After a passage of time Girl gets tired of Boy and dumps him and goes to a Psychologist to have every memory of this Boy erased from her brain. After some strange encounters with Girl after memory removal Boy finds out what she did and out of spite he does the same. He then fights the treatment to try and hold onto some of the good times they had. I won’t give away the ending but it is interesting how people without a biblical world view see their life experiences as being fulfilling in the absence of God despite how horrible those experiences may be in the moment they are happening. I don’t have all this figured out but there is some deep theological stuff going on in this movie in an anti-God fatalistic kind of way. Interesting is the best description of the movie I can give and for those who love dating as a method of finding a happy marriage should develop a way of erasing memories so that they can retain their optimistic view of a fallen system.

King's deer

Sometimes I think and sometimes when I think I think of thinking things that make other people think. Then at other times I think of things that others don’t think of or don’t want to think of. I’m not sure where this rant fits. I’ve never really gone hunting before. Oh, sure I was a kid so my brother and I would kill all sorts of things with our BB guns. And occasionally my Dad would take us out to the river where we would walk endlessly in the hopes of seeing a rabbit. But I’ve never really gone out of my way to plan and actually sit and hunt. But with much enthusiasm and an MP3 player I set out to be a shadow to a friend who had gotten his permit to hunt. This is where I began thinking. Why do we have to get permits to hunt animals who reside on our own land? My contention is that they, those animals specifically deer, belong to the King. They are the King’s deer and the King only wants you to kill them if he has approved you. I have taken the analogy of the King/government from a friend of mine but I think it is a great analogy.

Also, who owns the land? Even if you own your land outright, meaning you do not pay any payments for the land you live on what would happen if you didn’t pay your property tax? The government would come and take the land and kick you off. So, this land doesn’t actually belong to you does it. If it did why would you be booted off of something that was yours? So, what we have is a big rental property that the government/King owns and if you don’t pay your land payment then he will come and take what he feels is his. He is so big and has such deep pockets that you essentially have no rights to defend yourself and are left with no recourse but to pay the tax. Think about it. Your great-great-great grandfather could have bought and paid for the land you live on and it could be paid off for the last 3 generations yet if you don’t pay your property tax (which could be just a $100) you will lose what has been in your family for generations. Is this just? I thought we had liberty here in the U.S..

Therefore, since the King practically owns the land then he can decide who can kill his animals. It is deer season for all those non-hunters and I am finding out some very troubling things. I have not researched this information on conservation department people but apparently they can enter your house without a permit/warrant to ensure that you do not have any deer in your fridge that is over a year old. Apparently it is illegal to have deer from the previous season. It seems odd that the King would be so concerned about dead deer in my fridge but won’t do anything about the Clopects down the road who are storing dead people in their fridge. (For those who haven’t seen the movie ‘The Burbs’ in a while will miss the Clopect joke. So watch the movie and laugh later).

In summary, the King owns the land therefore he owns the animals on that land and you need to take however many classes are required to get your license to kill. You will also need to get your specific tags and then report everything that you kill. Otherwise, Big Brother will come and take all that you have imagined you own.

Go Bach!

I found this rare talent while traveling through New York City right in front of Central Park. I was hoping to see some muggings or something while near the park but no all I saw of any value was this guy. When his fans screemed for Bach and he played it they were amazed, but when the crowd changed and they clammored for Skynard and they were denied the crowd revolted and now you can see parts of those buckets tied onto the hoods of some automobiles.

OOOh photos

Thanks to my friend Aaron I am able to post some photos. It really isn't that hard but I'm not patient nor very daring when it comes to computers. So, thanks to him and my Canon camera everyone can enjoy some photos from time to time. This photo was taken in Southern New Zealand in 2005. It was a sunrise and it got better but this is when my camera started to have some problems from being dropped on the ice the year before. You can actually see some beginning problems in the middle of the photo. When it is really bad the whole picture is black.

Whatchu Talkin' 'bout Paul?

Can you preach the doctrine of election as good news? We want to but can we? We want to say that there are those whom the Father has chosen from the foundation of the world to eternal salvation, yet the flip side of this is reprobation. Which is clearly anti-good news. Who wants to be reprobate? How does Paul use election? How does he communicate to the churches he was instrumental in helping form?

Ephesians 1.4 the Apostle Paul says very clearly that “He [God] chose us in Him [Jesus] before the foundation of the world. . . having predestined us to adoption as sons”. To whom is Paul writing this letter? He says he is writing to the saints who are in Ephesus. This is an open letter that is to be read to all who are in the church in the town of Ephesus. So everyone who is in church on that Sunday, and every day that this would be read, would hear that they personally are chosen by God. They were and are elect. As this epistle was spoken were the parents of the children of the congregation looking at their children saying to them,

“You realize that he is talking to your Mom and I but not you, right? You still have to have some sort of conversion experience. You need to believe in Jesus and what all this baptism stuff means. This all will apply to you if you say the prayer right and at the right age.”

“But, I do love Jesus,” child's response.

“I know you do, but you see your Mom and I don’t think you really know what you mean by that. See your only four years old and I don’t think you fully comprehend what is going on here. Now lets be quiet as Paul is saying some more things that only apply to your Mother and I.”

See how ridiculous this all sounds. Why not just leave the kids outside to tend to the horses if none of this applies to them (or better yet why not put them in some sort of age segregated group where you can corral all those who have no connection with these wonderful promises), if they too are not called by God to be the people of God. Moses led God’s people through the Red Sea and through the Wilderness. That generation was not allowed to enter God’s rest symbolized by the Promised Land. Who did enter it? God’s people. Who were they? I thought God let His people perish outside of the Promised Land. Those who entered the Promised Land were the descendants of those adults who were Gods people. They were the children who passed through the Red Sea. They were the same children who were guided by Moses throughout the wilderness, who had the protection and covering of the cloud by day and pillar of fire by night, those who ate manna every day for 40 years and who drank water from the rock in the Wilderness. They were the the people of God. They entered the Promised Land and had children who also were the people of God.

When someone starts to talk outside the systematic view of election those who believe in the Doctrines of Grace may begin to feel their undergarments getting wadded up but fear not for this teaching is nothing new to the Christian faith. The apostle Paul had talked this way long before our systematic theology books were written. Our system of viewing scripture, although good, is one sided. To be sure God knows whom is eternally redeemed and no one can be lost or added to this number. He knows who is getting into heaven, but we are not privy to such information. We don’t have the ability to peer into heaven and see whose name is written in the Book of Life and whose isn’t. We have what God has given us, His word and we must speak as it speaks.

Our systematic theology books would seem to have us speak as though if you say one is elect then that would mean that they have their ticket to heaven and it doesn’t matter what he does in the course of their life now because they have their ticket to heaven. However, scripture does not speak this way. Over and over again the apostle Paul, as well as the apostle Peter, speak the clear and unapologetic voice of election to those who are in the church and at the same time he warns them of grieving the Holy Spirit and of falling away (apostasy). Why would he do this? If they are elect then they can’t apostatize, right? Wrong. Paul warns of apostasy to those in the church because it is a very real and frightening thing. Why else would Peter counsel us to “be even more diligent to make your calling and election sure” (2 Pet. 1.10) if the ability of falling away was not a reality? Therefore, if our system can not accommodate the language of scripture then we must change our system and let scripture speak for itself.

So we must confess that those who are members of the church are elect. They are the chosen people of God and because of their election they have certain responsibilities placed upon them due to their union with Christ. There are many people throughout scripture who were elect, part of the chosen people of God, who did not persevere to the end. Just read Deuteronomy 28. Those who spurn the grace of God should expect a worse fiery torment than those who never knew God as Hebrews 10. 29 would point out, “How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?” Realize that this person is reaping great punishment because he spurned the grace of God by refusing to live for the Son of God, but also realize that this blood of Christ also sanctified this one who has fallen away. So not only does this blood sanctify but it also puts upon the recipient duties that must be met. So if there is a stairway to heaven then one must continue using ones legs to get to heaven or risk falling down the stairs and meeting a far worse end than one who never knew there was a staircase.

Therefore, those who are in Christ are elect. You are elect by being in union with Christ and you are in union with Christ through baptism. Baptism is the visible sign and seal of our union with Christ and yet this does not get us into heaven ‘automatically’. There are responsibilities that we must meet in order to persevere and see the Lord on the last day. Salvation is not a gift that you can put into your pocket and bring out whenever someone asks for proof. We can’t do something to get it, such as going forward at church and praying a prayer, it is something that is lived out. It is a gift of God and not of works. We can not do anything to generate it nor can we do anything to bring it about. The modern evangelical madness has people go forward and say ‘the prayer’ and then they leave without any connection to the church and live however they wish and those people expect, because of this profession/experience to get into heaven.

When questioned they pull this experience out of their pocket and say,
“Don’t tell me I’m not saved. I’ve got the ticket. I’ve said the prayer. You see I went to this retreat and had this amazing experience with God.” All this has done is made them more responsible to the knowledge of the covenant of God. Read the Old Testament and you will see God dealing with His people in grace, kindness, and vengeance. They are His people and yet with some He bestows His blessing and with others He kills and does not let them enter His rest.

God is not niggardly in bestowing His grace as the church has made Him out to be. God is full of grace and mercy and yet at the same time He is a jealous God who has expectations for those who bear His name. We can not take the Lord’s name in vain as we do if we are His children and live in such a way that is contrary to His reveled word. We need not presume upon the grace of God. We should not read the words of election in scripture as only applying to those people as if the apostle Paul had some sort of magical Lambs Book of Life vision. He didn’t know who would persevere to the end but he did know who was in covenant with God and to those he called elect, chosen of God. Those who are in Christ are members of the church and the word of God is for the church, therefore, these words of election are meant to encourage us and to strengthen us in our walk with Christ.

“Oh, the depth of the riches of both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to Him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” Romans 11.33-36.

My Big George

This all stemmed from a conversation I had with some friends of mine about how much we love certain things. In my enthusiasm I blurted out a very true statement. “If I could I would marry my George Forman Rotisserie Grill.” I meant it. I really love that thing. It has some of the perfect elements in a great marriage. For instance, it is low maintenance, clean, forgiving with improper care, makes really tasty food, and I can put her in the closet for weeks and she still does everything I ask of her without getting mad.

Wow, look in mid-sentence I went from referring to my grill as an ‘it’ to a ‘she’. Now that’s evolution.

I have let others clean my “Big George” but really it is something I prefer to do. I like to take the time to do the job right and really I think she appreciates it too. My roommate used it once and in her rebellion of being used by someone else she did not cook the food properly. I only hope that she doesn't become like Stephen Kings 'Christine'. Although I would like to see her pop back to normal after getting all busted up I would hate to see my friends getting cooked by her jealous temperament. Look I really have no life and I have no pets so I need to make faux relationships with machines. I had a child in my motorcycle, pause and lament the loss, and now I have a marriage with my rotisserie grill. Now if I can get my friend Matt to make that conversation starter than I will have it all.

The conversation took an uncomfortable pause when I made this statement about my rotisserie grill. And in truth I’ve grown accustomed to the uncomfortable pause and feel that if there isn’t at least one in a conversation with me than I’m really not communicating my ideas accurately enough. And my friends at the table where this conversation was had really tried to back me up. They paused and slowly said how they too see life as better because they have their favorite Bosch blender thing. They are real troopers for going out on that ledge with me. They didn’t say it with the same enthusiasm as I did and maybe that will come with time, but I was excited that that ledge could hold so many people at once.

I think that if I can continue to recruit people to think as strangely as I do at times that this place will be a more enjoyable place. Although, too many people thinking like me could hurt my entrepreneurial ideas like the action hero figures I plan to design and market called Manimals. They are mostly Centaurs (those half man half horse Greek gods) but with the added twist of being half-cow half man. They would be paired with Leprechauns that would use the mancows special milk to fight crime like CSI or Wyatt Earp.

Armies of Compassion

This is another old email that I sent to some friends of mine and it too was a motivation for the blog. I wrote it after hearing President Bush speak in New Orleans after the hurricane hit. I think it is pretty funny and if there is a draft then I think I would like to be drafted in this ridiculous army.


My fellow Americans, I had the distinct honor and joy of listening to my president give a speech last night while he was in New Orleans. I heard him pontificate on the amazing destruction of this unrelenting, dare I say racist, hurricane and the need for the federal government to once again operate outside its constitutional bounds. While listening to all this nonsense and growing more and more amazed at the honesty of this presidents willingness to violate his oath of office by not “upholding the constitution of the United States” I realized that there apparently is a new branch/wing of the U.S. military. President Bush sprung this new aspect of the U.S. military on me with the words “armies of compassion”. Armies of Compassion? What is that!?

My brother is a Marine and he isn’t all that compassionate and neither is my sister-in-law who is in the Navy. I’ve known those in the Army and Air Force and although nicer in some ways they wouldn’t fit the definition of compassionate. Our military isn’t about being compassionate but it is in the business of killing people. They are trained to kill and from what I can see and from what I hear they are trained well in the fine arts of killing. They kill all sorts of people with not so much as a blink of the eye; therefore, I am left with the thought that this “Army of Compassion” is a new military hybrid. They apparently have the same funding since they are an “Army” so that means that they have all the best gadgets that taxpayers can buy. Yet, they are compassionate; which I take to mean that they are not in the business of killing people. This is much different than our present military.  So, I’ve done some research and I’ve come up with some half-brained and full-brained theories about what this “Army” does and more so on what they look like.

First, what looks more compassionate, a guy that dresses up to look like the forest, wearing face paint (not like the kind for sporting events), and carrying a rifle and other implements of destruction; or a guy with no implements of destruction, wearing his own natural pigment on his face and bearing a huge smile? I think the later is the correct choice. You too! Good, now we can continue.

Second, I think this new branch of the military should wear uniforms in the color red. Let’s face it, if you’re going to have the sole purpose of bearing compassion towards those who need it they need to see you to find you to get that compassion from you. The Red Cross is known for showing compassion and what color do they use to be recognized? Red. Those in our present military who work in the medical field use what color on their helmets, boats and cars to designate them as medical? Red. So, red is the color that says, “Hey, look over here, I’m different and I care”.

Third, what shape says love more than any other shape? A heart. Not the type of heart that is found in those biology text books but the kind you can find anywhere during the month of February. Those are perfect too because not only do they have the natural color of red, which we have already determined to be the most visually captivating, but they also have the shape that have a universal depiction of love and caring. Now these heart shaped uniforms will have to be worn right side up for a couple reasons. First, if it is worn upside down the rounded lobes will be at the feet and the point will be at the head, thus people may confuse the wearer as being a grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. This would only hinder the compassion giving soldier and thus may bring the compassionate soldier in harms way. Second, upside down hearts just do not communicate the universal love and compassion that we have already stated was the key and complete function of this new military force.

Now, worn right side up , these red, heart shaped uniforms will not only get the attention needed but will also loosen peoples pent-up emotional frustrations. The styling is key. We need the Armies of Compassion to be able to function in their duties but we also need to facilitate compassion when those soldiers are not in the mood. Let’s face it sometimes those regular military people don’t really want to kill people so they listen to bombastic music to set the mood before they unleash the destruction and carnage that they have trained so long to learn. So, the uniform of this new hybrid soldier needs to function so as to be the “bombastic music”. The arm holes at the rounded lobes will be just past the natural bend in the person’s shoulders. This will cause the Armies of Compassion to be at a natural hugging stance while also allowing the soldier to give a decent hug to the recipient.  Also, these lobes will have to be filled with replaceable stuffing. This will ensure jobs for those making the material and also give a place for the one needing compassion to cry on an accepting, soft and absorbent shoulder.

Fourth, any boy scout will tell you that one of their cardinal rules is to be prepared. Therefore, the Army of Compassion will have to be prepared as well. They will need some sort of pack to hold supplies. They cannot use a backpack as this is a cumbersome obstruction for the one without the pack. They can’t use a duty belt, much like Batman, because that will poke the recipient and just be too uncomfortable for the one needing the compassion. The fanny-pack is the pack that is just right. You do not have the obstruction problems and it will hold a great deal of supplies. These packs can hold loads of snot, mucus and other general face leaking absorbents.

One thing I am a bit confused on is the “armies”. Throughout this letter I’ve used both ‘army’ and ‘armies’ yet our president said “Armies of Compassion”. So I do not know if he is making one of his speech blunders or if there are multiple military organizations that have special sections within them that deal specifically with the area of compassion. That may actually be the case. The Navy has the S.E.A.L.S., and the Marine Corps has the RECON so it wouldn’t be surprising to have different elite groups within already existing military organizations. If anyone has anymore information on this topic or has ideas of their own let me know and maybe we can get to the bottom of this interesting aspect of our ever increasing government and military presence.

Canada Attacks

I wrote this soon after Hurricane Katrina swept through the Southern states however it is one of the documents that made me start this blog. So, I put it on the blog even though it is a bit out dated. I wrote it while watching hours of FoxNews and CNN so I was actually putting together real news events. The increased terror level, our military being sent to the Gulf Coast, and Canada sending ships to the Gulf Coast? Come on what else would you think was happening? So here it is.

I have just been informed that Canada is sending 3 war ships and 1000 troops to the Gulf of Mexico for "assistance".  I don't know about you but I've met some Canadians and they hold grudges.  In our early history as nation states we did not always have kind relations with our northern neighbors.  Basically, I think they are the ultimate sleeper cell, and this hurricane situation in the south is just a convenient opportunity for them to unleash all their pent up furry.  In effect Canada is going to invade us through the south.  I guess they are either figuring with all the confusion and chaos that their battles will be overlooked, and I think they may want to meet our military head on.  Our federal government as upgraded our terror color code level so I think they are onto Canada's ploys as well.  Our federal government has also deployed a number of our Navy vessels to the Gulf Coast. I'm just a concerned American that thought the rest of the America should know of these facts that I am putting together.  So, grab your guns and get ready for another battle with Canada.  We must not lose because I don't want to say "eh?" all the time.